Wednesday, May 22

Day 22, Err day In may!

Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel.
(a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)

I posted on Saturday about my plans to move to Calgary. Its something that has always been in the back of my mind, and I knew that when I was ready that I would go. Finally I feel ready, I feel like I need a new chapter in my life. I have NOTHING holding me to the town I'm from just family. I can see how it might upset some family members that I want to leave town, not sure why it effects them. I'm the one who's just up and quitting a job, buying a plane ticket and flying to a place I've only seen in pictures. I have my aunt there as my support waiting for me, but nothing else. And I'm okay with that. I want to feel life on my own. I want to know who I am, and who I'm suppose to be. I'm 26 years old, I need to start working on my future.

Almost everyone was so positive about what I wanted to do, I was a little worried about how my little brother would take the news. He was a little upset in the fact I wouldn't get to see him daily like I do now, but he always understands all the reasons I want to leave. Audri, aka main hoe cried. I'm talking full tears streaming down her cheeck, which made me cry .. asshole. My older brother was over the moon, and even offered to drive me there, thinking like I wouldn't actually go!

However it was My Amy who I thought at the end of the day would get me, would understand all the reason I was leaving, and would totally be excited and support my idea. I figured who knows me better then my Amy, I'm basically her own child. Shes told me 1000 times since becoming my legal guardian at 16 that I drive her nuts like I daughter she never had. I was looking for acceptance, and understanding. Support and wisdom from her. Instead I got nothing in response. I told her I was leaving that I figured it all out, told her my plan on when to quit work, and that ill be flying to BC, and then busing to AB. Her response was about the sex of my friends baby.
When I asked if she got my msg and had any thoughts she wanted to discuss about it, she said "ya,". That's it, that's what I got from my mother for support. For wise words, for her to tell me how she really feels but couldn't. Nothing makes me feel like a bigger piece of shit than when I let someone down. I'm not sure how but I feel like I'm letting her down by moving away. I cant live my life for others, so weather she accepts the idea or not I still have to go and live my life for myself.I just wished her reaction was a little more..


  1. Give her time! You know as well as I do, she will have something to say! She is trying to be supportive but needs time to process everything.
    I promise by the time you leave to board that plane she will have her words together!
    I'm very excited for you! I always wished I had done the same before kids...very brave to go alone some place new!

    1. thanks! im really hoping sure comes around going to spend a few days tehre this week! I didnt know you blog, so exciting, im OBBSSED with it! LOL I should get help, its such a great venting place!

  2. Much cheaper then therapy! And you get faster results!
    I've only been doing it since my break up.
    Tell her I said to be happy, cause if it doesn't work can always come back!

    1. its def great theapy, sometimes i just go on a rant, and then save the post to my drafts feel much better after thou.. i think it just hasnt kicked in to her that im leaving im sure she will have more to say then just roll her eyes at me! lol